One day I'm going to write about really powerful things. I'm going to change the world if you all haven't realized it. And I'm going to have extremely intellectual conversations about what I write with intelligent friends while drinking coffee at Urth Café.
Today is not that day.
I've talked about many things in my blog. And out of all my posts, my most popular has been "How not to tinder". You sick people love seeing creepy guys harass me on the internet. And you know what? I went right back and did it all over again. This time more creepy than ever before.
So with that ladies and gentleman, I give you How Not To Tinder Part II
1. Giving small children alcohol
Is this supposed to be funny? Because my maternal instincts are telling me to call child protective services. Oh but at least we have a cooking show in common!!! What a keeper.
2. What?
No but really what just happened?
3. Excessive messaging
You know a "hi how are you?" would of been fine. One message at a time boys, please!!!!
4. Photos of dead animals are a "no"
Welcome to America. Are girls actually impressed by this? I don't know if I want to throw up or cry. That poor baby coyote!!!! Take your murder elsewhere.
I'd like to be able to understand what you're saying
6. Keep it classy
I wonder if he came up with that one himself. And if any girls out there genuinely found it funny.
7. Pickup lines are stupid!
I hate them. So much. They aren't funny!!! And even worse is that he used the word "swerve". At least he left before it got worse.
Your pink shirt makes me concerned. And then you had to make it really weird. I don't know, I just get a creepy vibe from any guy who wants to drink peach moscato and watch a chick flick.
9. I don't hook up!!!!!!!!!
There you have it boys and girls. I never want to do this again.
I really need to meet a normal guy soon....
Much love,
Jen
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