Can you tell me what makes you happy?

I feel like my past few posts have been a bit negative. It's okay, it happens. I keep it real on here. But I think it's time for some positivity. What makes you happy? It doesn't matter if it's something materialistic like a pair of shoes or something sentimental like time with family. We all should have a list of things that make us smile. Could you do that? It takes some thinking, at least for me. But I did come up with a short list of things that make me a happy little Jen.


Not having a kid
Oh boy does this make me happy!! Some may disagree, but I think wiping poop out of someones ass crack at 4 am is my definition of rock bottom. I can barely keep myself alive, let alone a little person who would scream at me when I'm trying to get my groove on with my friends on a Saturday night. A miniature me is my version of hell. Yay for not having to deal with that!

Tulips
Every girl has a favorite flower. I've only gotten them once but it was a very happy moment. Another reason why I'm so in love with Amsterdam. They are everywhere! Love love love them!

Starbucks
Anyone who snapchats me is aware of the problem I have. I go a minimum of 4 times a week. I have over $100 in gift cards and I have to maintain gold status so there is no reason for me not to stop and get a delicious caffeinated beverage. 9 times out of 10, I will pass by a Starbucks when I'm going somewhere. A happy tummy is a happy Jen.

My campers
Yeah you all know camp makes me happy. But did I really explain why I'm going back? My kids from last year fill me up with so much happiness. The love you feel when you have 7 kids yelling at you because you're about to leave the bunk without a hug goodnight and making sure each one is tucked in nice and tight is pretty amazing. Not a day went by without crying tears of laughter. I wish I could tell you some of the things they said but it's not even appropriate for my blog. I miss them so much. Every day is just another day closer to being back to the happy place.

Tequila
I'm keeping it real here, remember?

A good book turned into a movie
Am I the only one who is excited about The Fault in Our Stars coming out? At least from the previews it seems like they're staying really close to the storyline and it won't make me too upset. I read the book in Amsterdam, which is where they go in the book/movie. So I'm kind of partial to this. It makes me happy to see an authors hard work put to life.

Parks and Recreation
If you aren't watching this show then you're a failure and I need you to leave this blog and come back when you finish season one. Amy Poehler is a goddess. Can I be her when I grow up? When in doubt, I always blame Jerry! DAMN IT JERRY! Seriously go watch so you know what I'm talking about.

Ordering things online
This is something I need to really stop doing because at this rate I'm going to be in NYC living off $1 pizza this summer. Even though I have the patience of an 8 year old and check my shipment tracking twice a day, when it finally comes its like a mini Christmas!! I love it and I do it all over again.

My blog
I never thought I would enjoy this as much as I do. I look forward to coming up with something new to write about and talking about it with you guys. There is no better feeling than when someone tells me they enjoy my writing. Although I write about a lot of silly things, a lot of personal things go into it as well. I still get nervous every time I hit the share button. But the views go up and up with every day and nothing makes me happier than knowing that someone can relate to what I'm writing about.


I hope with the negativity we face every day, that you find a little happiness here and pass the love along to someone who needs it.

Much love,
Jen

I can't be friends with you!!

At what point will they see that enough is enough?

We all have the case of the clingy ex. The one we can't seem to just get rid of. The reason Facebook created the option to block people.

They may have hurt you. Or maybe you hurt them. Either way I'm sure in 99% of these cases someone didn't make it out unscathed. We have all been on one side or the other at some point.

I don't know your situation. And if you've read my previous blogs then you can probably piece mine together. American girl meets a foreign guy....blah blah blah. The details don't matter.

I've never been the type of girl to be friends with my ex. I just can't do it. Maybe because all the guys I've dated end up being extremely scummy. Sex offenders, playboy military types, leaving me frantic with a $850 plane ticket. Not exactly the warm and fuzzy feelings leading to a friendship.

There is nothing wrong with this. And I'm sick of being told there is!

There is a difference between being civil, and wanting to be friends. When I'm being civil, I'm not going out of my way to remind you what a piece of shit you are. I don't mind you being friends with my friends. I don't freak out when you message MY MOM and bug her asking how I'm doing. I keep my mouth shut.

No. It is not okay that you like the pictures I'm tagged in on Facebook, follow me on instagram, or try to be my friend on snap chat.

My social media outlets? Those are for my friends. The ones who I trust. The amazing people I have scattered around the world. I want to share my lives with them and I want to see theirs as well. When you hurt me, you lose that privilege.

Some people don't like this. They don't like that you take a stand. They aren't okay with no longer being a part of your life. They will tell you that you're immature. That you just need to move on.

But they don't see that this is you moving on! This is you taking a stand and not letting them make a difference in your life anymore. This is you realizing that they don't deserve any of those rights.

I don't want to catch up with you. I don't want to see your updates and pictures. They don't matter to me. You are no longer my friend!

What do they expect? Is your ex girlfriend trying to see that you aren't going out every weekend? Is your ex boyfriend trying to figure out if you're still sad? What made them believe that they still had that right?

They don't. They have no right. And they can't let us feel bad for moving on and not putting up with it anymore.

So if he wants to call me names? Fine. Bug my family and friends? Go for it. Get mad at me when I ask him to please stop? That's cool. It doesn't change anything. I am just that much more thankful that you did what you did.

At the end of the day, your actions give my blog the fuel I need to keep it going. You would probably think it's stupid anyways, which only motivates me that much more. So next time you see me, don't drop your jaw and don't stare. This blonde hair and tan skin doesn't miss you at all.

Much love (or kiss my ass),
Jen

10 things you probably don't know about me

I've hit my first hard case of writers block. Every blog post, I tell myself I'm going to write about something important like feminism and other mature adult things. And then I laugh at myself and remember that I am a child. So I write about the things I know. Camp, Los Angeles, Traveling. I think I want to take this time to write about one of the things I know best: myself. Get to know me just a little bit better and learn some random things you probably didn't know.

1. When I was 9 I had my birthday party at a roller rink. I fell right before I opened presents and broke my wrist. Except my mom didn't believe me and said I was fine. I wouldn't shut up about it so I finally got to go the doctor. They said I was fine too. Well that weekend my mom got a call saying they read the X-ray wrong, my wrist was broken and I had to come in for a cast. My mom always took me seriously when I was hurt after that.

2. I got my car a few months into my senior year. Not even 12 hours after having it, I drove it to school and hit one of the poles holding up the solar panels covering the parking lot. I was so embarrassed I didn't tell anyone. There's a sexy scrape about the size of my hand on my bumper. Nobody knew where I got it until now.

3. I was born on Friday the 13th. Anyone in my family would agree that it makes a lot of sense.

4. When I was going to school in Santa Barbara, I got hit on by a midget. A real live little person. His name was Paul and he really wanted to know what bus I was waiting for. Glad we weren't on the same one because he was extremely creepy.

5. My best friend from kindergarten married my ex boyfriend and all I can think about is how thankful I am that I dodged that bullet.

6. I was in a music video and it was really embarrassing so I won't saw who it was for. They were an MTV featured artist and the scene was at a crazy house party. I had to chug milk in a contest against some guy. I'm allergic to milk and had to try not to puke in front of 40+ people. It was not worth my 15 minutes of fame.

7. My first real boyfriend ended up being a registered sex offender for sleeping with his younger step sister. Not something I should of had to deal with at 16 years old.

8. My great great uncle was one of the original creators of the Superman comics. I never met the guy but the comic book nerds like that fact.

9. I almost died at camp last summer. I got my belly button pierced in the back of a hair salon in this sketchy gross town. 4 hours later and I'm still gushing blood. I finally go to the health center where I'm trying not to have a panic attack and pass out. They got the piercing out and the bleeding to stop. I have a cute scar and my campers text me asking "so how is your belly button?" all the time. Never again...

10. My mom was my teacher in the 5th grade. A lot of people ask me if she favored me. Exact opposite. One day she switched our desks around and she made me sit next to this gross boy who had a crush on me. I was so pissed off I wrote "HELP ME" in big letters in my notebook and held it straight up so she could see it. She just laughed at me and kept on teaching.


Do we all feel like we know me a little bit better now? I shall be back and stirring up chaos asap!

Much love,
Jen

The camp blog

Are any of you surprised? We all knew this one was coming at some point or another.

I had my first camp experience in the 6th grade. I got to go to "science" camp with my class. But being the California babe that I am, this was no ordinary camp. Hidden in the hills of Malibu sits a beautiful Jewish summer camp. This camp is used by Los Angeles County Outdoor Science School during the school year to give kids a learning experience outside the classroom. Lessons were either on the beach, near the creek, or up the huge Ice Cream Mountain!!

I was just happy to be away from my parents for 5 days and playing on the beach with my friends. Although it was technically school, we did have a lot of summer camp similarities. My cabin leader would braid my hair, we ate in the dinning hall, and at the end of the week we had a camp dance where I chased the boys around under the limbo stick (sorry, not sorry). The 5 days went by fast and I was back home at the end of the week.

I discovered my summer camp on my own. I met a girl at a relatives party and she actually went to the Jewish summer camp my science camp was held at. She loved it and I knew I wanted to go. Google changed my life that weekend. I discovered an even more fun camp than the one she went to. Pali Overnight Adventures, a place more magical than Disneyland. And at $1500 a week, it damn well  should be. My dad went to summer camp as a kid and was on board right away. Mom soon joined the bandwagon and I was on my way to Pali.

My two summers at Pali were something I will never forget. I made friends I still keep in touch with today, I got my first taste of the British accent, and got to do things I could never do at home. Water balloon fights, mud wrestling, waking up at midnight to see the dining hall turned into Willy Wonkas Chocolate Factory. I learned so many things at camp. Especially how to make friends and not care what anyone thinks. I tried things like water ski and zip lining. I even was part of the broadcast journalism team and we put together a news program for the camp every night. Thank god those videos are hidden somewhere deep in the internet.

I told myself I would come back as a counselor one day. But one day was just too far.

I went back to science camp for 2 years in a row as a cabin leader. It was a free trip to Malibu for a week and I got away from boring high school, and I had a ton of fun bringing my friends along for the journey.

Winter break during my freshman year of college, I was going absolutely insane being home. There was no way in hell I was going to do that for 3 months during the summer. I remembered that I was finally old enough to be a camp counselor at a real summer camp. I applied to be a counselor at Pali and a few other camps in the LA area.

Then it hit me. I would be 19 that summer, why do I want to be stuck near home when I could take the chance to travel somewhere I had never been. I spent about 5 solid days perfecting applications and applying to camps all over the east coast.

I heard back from 3 and set up interviews. My first one being Lokanda. They offered me a travel allowance and a pretty great salary. I accepted it without taking any other interviews. And I am so glad I did.

I will never forget my flight to New Jersey. My first time flying alone. I was so nervous, I couldn't eat anything all day. The rest of that day seems like a blur. I just remember getting to camp and it not feeling real. Finally seeing the friends I had talked to on Facebook for months and being back in the camp wild I loved so much as a kid. I do remember embarrassing myself singing my signature wagon song at the campfire that night. Wonder if I'll be that awkward again this summer.

Those 7 weeks went by so fast. And some days were much harder than others. Waking up at 7 am every single day and being a mommy for 7 kids is tough! But when the summer ends, the good outweighs the bad 10 times more. I became so close with my baby frosh. Closer than I ever could of imagined. I miss them more and more everyday. Thank god those kids have cell phones, I don't know what I would of done going through the winter not being able to talk to them.

The bond I made with not just my kids, but my other counselors, is something hard to explain. But I will try. Arleny, Steph, Julia, Hannah, Taylor, Ash, Mary-Lou, you ladies mean so much to me. Even though we're separated by countries and time zones, you are all so so so special to me. Most people have stories from the people they lived in their dorms with, I have stories from the bunks. Flashing each other, staying up late sneaking hot cheetos and laughing until we cry about the stupid stuff our kids said that day. Last summer was NOT easy. Crying from exhaustion or boys, I was never in it alone. I don't have many girlfriends a home. Maybe that's why camp is such a priority in my life. I'm finally given the chance to be able to surround myself with friends all the time. Thank you girls for being such a huge part of my camp experience and being the people I will call friends forever.

There were so many other people outside the frosh bunks who have made such an impact in my life. It would take forever, but you people know who you are. How lucky am I to know that no matter what time it is, there is always at least one friend I have in this world who is awake. A wise man who works at camp said something that stuck with me since the day he said it. A day is a week, a week is a month, a month is a year. Camp is 2 months long, but it feels like 2 years. That's why we all become so close with each other. When those days came where I wanted to quit, and didn't think I'd be able to make it through the summer, I realized how many amazing friends I was surrounded by and I knew I could get through it.

No where else in this world is it acceptable for me to roll out of bed and be ready for the day. I am 100% me at camp. No make up, no straightened hair, no fancy clothes. Just me and my kids. Learning to play tennis and eating our otter pops on the way to lake swim. Camp is Neverland for me. Where I'm allowed to expose my peter pan syndrome (although I'm more comparable to tinkerbell) and just be a kid. Growing up is not acceptable at camp. I will continue to hold on to that as long as I can.

I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. After unfortunate events after camp, I tried to run away from some things. I figured going to Pali as a counselor would be much easier for me. This year I was offered an interview. But I declined because I thought my problem holding me back from going to Lokanda was long gone. Turns out, it's not. But that's okay. This summer will be challenging, but it will absolutely be worth it. Some of my closest friends from last summer are coming back. And I'm bringing my best friend from home to experience this journey with me. I've already made some great friends who I know will absolutely enjoy Skinners Falls with me this summer. It would be immature of me to let something so minuscule hold me back from having such a great experience. So I won't let that happen!

So to all my friends I made last summer, thank you for adding so many memories to the ones I had as a kid. There are days where the camp sick hits hard and I wish I could have all of you in sunny So Cal with me.  You guys know there is always a place here for you!

And if any newbies are reading this, brace yourself for the best experience you can ask for. There will be tough days. You will be exhausted and some mornings wonder why you signed up for this. Please know how important you are to these kids. Because at one point, I was one of them. You are now part of the memories these kids will never forget. Take every advantage that comes your way, wear crazy outfits and dance in the dining hall. Because before you know it, we all have to say goodbye.

Camp is such an important part of my life. I hope one day I am able to give the same experience to my own kids. But for now, I'll keep going back until they won't let me anymore. Camp makes life just a little bit easier. I wish everyone could experience just how much fun it is.

Much love,
Jen

What not to say to a Californian

I'm one of the lucky ones. Born and raised in the suburbs of Los Angeles. We're a unique breed of Americans. West is the best isn't it? Home of the film industry, beautiful people, and sunshine. No wonder everyone is curious about what this place is like. But sometimes the stereotypes are like, totally taken out of context. Planning on visiting some time? Tired of being a local subjected to the stereotype? Take a look at what you should never say to someone from California.

"If you're from California, why are you so pale?"
Yes, we have perfect weather 80% of the year. But unless you're a Kardashian, you don't spend every day all day laying by the pool or beach soaking up the sun. We work, go to school, and its usually indoors. Even though you don't think it's cold, we do wear pants and ugg boots in the winter. So excuse us for not fulfilling your image of being a tan goddess year round. We're working on it as soon as winter is over in February. Besides, some of us really care about avoiding skin cancer.

"Where are the famous people?"
Hiding. Far away from you.

"Californians are the worst drivers"
HAHAHA! No. You grow up trying to get into the city in bumper to bumper traffic. We are actually amazing drivers due to all the traffic we deal with. If you have an out of state license plate, we automatically assume you have no idea what you're doing. Hit the gas or get out of here!

"In n out is gross"
Buy yourself a plane ticket. I'm taking you to the airport and you can go back to wherever you came from. In n out is a gift from the gods delivered to us lucky west coasters and select parts of Texas. It's so simple and so unbelievably delicious. And if you're with the right person, us locals will even inform you of the hidden treasure of the secret menu. Chopped chillies, pickles, animal style, the options are endless. If you insult one of the best parts of California then you'll never belong here.

"Can we go to the walk of fame? Or that Chinese theater?"
Ugh. This is so hard for me to handle. As a traveler, I know how you feel the need to see the tourist attractions. I've been to times square and the Eiffel tower. And I would avoid them at all costs now. There is soooooooooooo much to do here!! Stars in the ground aren't that cool, I promise. Let me take you hiking through Runyon Canyon,  I'll show you where Venice Beach is, or see the amazing architecture of the Getty Museum. Please, anything but Hollywood Blvd.

"Do you know anyone famous?"
This depends on the person. Some people will name drop. Others will be thoroughly annoyed that you would ask that. With so much access to concerts and show tapings, any Californian can tell you some sort of run in story. Like my brother who works for Paramount almost ran Sandra Bullock over with a golf cart (sorry I name dropped). If someone is telling you that they're best friends with someone famous, 99% of the time they're lying. You've been warned.

"Why do you put avocado on everything?!"
Because California avocados are amazing!! Many people don't realize how much produce is grown throughout California. And it's suffering due to this awful drought we're in. Knowing that your fruits and vegetables were grown locally is a really great thing. If your avocado isn't from California, you're doing it wrong.

"You're from California? Do you live in Hollywood?"
Uh no. And I'm going to assume people in Northern California hate being asked that. California is such a huge state! There's more to us than LA and San Francisco. We're full of hidden gems if you're willing to look hard enough.

"Daisy dukes? Bikinis on top?"
This isn't a Katy Perry song. Bye.

"What's with all the Mexican food?"
One of my favorite parts of living in California is how much Mexican culture we have. I think it's something beautiful. I remember being in NYC and eating at a "Mexican" restaurant. No, never again! It tasted nothing like the real stuff. You want to experience California like a local? Find a small colorful place with words in Spanish on the outside. This does not include Taco Bell!!! If you go in and you're kind of scared you're going to get the runs, you're in the right place. Most of the time these places are run by families who cook this ridiculously amazing food as a way of life. It will change you forever. Stop asking questions and just eat. Por favor y gracias.

"Do you know how to surf?"
I live in the desert. I learned how to surf in Hawaii. I have just one friend who journeys out to the freezing water of the Pacific Ocean. So to answer your question, no, majority of us do not since not every one of us have beach front property....yet.

"Like dude we should like totally like hit up Santa Monica today. Those waves are hella crazy bro"
No Californian would ever say that. Except the Nor Cals and "hella" which makes us from So Cal crazy! If you said that to me, I would assume you're making fun of me. I will then show you the way to Compton in the middle of the night. We're not all beach bums and we don't say "dude" and "like" after every other word.

"Why is everyone a vegan?"
California is known for fresh, great food. And when you live somewhere with great weather, you want to look great since you'll be wearing shorts 2/3 of the year. So yes, many of us are pretty health conscious and are always coming up with new diet trends. But not all of us (remember in n out?). Just try the kale and quinoa before you talk smack.

"How do I find the metro station?"
We have a metro?

"California is amazing! I'm never leaving!"
And you wonder why we're one of the most populated states in America. I don't blame people who say that. I can never imagine living anywhere else long term. We're a unique place. You can go snowboarding and surfing in the same day if you'd like. It's completely acceptable to wear flip flops with a sweatshirt. We have so much culture and things to do. California is an incredible place.

Remember these things when you're talking to someone from California. We are proud of where we come from and will be glad to show you the ways of our land if you ask nicely!

Much love,
Jen

7 things I will never understand

Today has been a tough day for me. Some days the depression I've been fighting off since September creeps back up on me. So I give myself a day to just sleep and let my mind over think every little thing. Tomorrow I will wake up and it will be a new day with a new outlook. But for now I need some time to be a little sad. When this happens, I spend a lot of time trying to get a grasp on situations in my life that I just do not understand. And although there are some things that not even a blog can answer for me, I was struck with inspiration to share some things I'm sure none of us understand.

Homeschooling
This is directed towards kids who never have any socialization with any other kids who aren't home schooled. I understand the flaws in our education system. But why would you set your child up for a life where they are unable to follow social cues and work with a group of adults? School is more than writing and math. We learn so many things that are necessary for life. Conflict resolution, over coming fear and social anxiety, as well as making friends and working with others. When I worked at a pottery studio we had a home school day where a group from a homeschooling program came in to paint at a discount. I think out of the 40 kids that came, 3 of them said please and thank you and made eye contact with me. The parents weren't much better to be completely fair.

I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who were home schooled and are fully functioning members of society. I have yet to meet one.

Tattling
This is something I expect of my 8 year old campers. When it is completely rational to come to an adult when they don't know how to fix a situation. I'm assuming the majority of people reading this are adults. So why are some of the people I know running around saying things like "did you see what Jen wrote on Facebook?". Who cares!! Don't feel the need to share what I say on Facebook. I know I'm really funny and witty and post cute pictures, but if that person isn't my friend then it obviously is not meant for them. And as karma works its way around, I will find out who you are. And you will be withheld from seeing any other hilarious status updates I share. Just stop it and save us all the frustration of that.

Over sharing your child's life
I don't care that you bought Tommy a training potty in his favorite color. I don't care that Sandy watched Blues Clues for 2 hours and then took a nap. It does not matter to me that Billy got new shoes and then peed his pants. Just like I didn't feel the need to share my pictures of my kidney stone ultra sound, some things are just better left to ourselves. I'm assuming some milestones are really exciting and we don't have family members there to witness it, but a daily update on your child's eating habits is really annoying. If you love writing about yourself and your life then maybe you should start a blog!

Posting a ton of pictures at once
This is fine on Facebook, because they're all clumped together and I don't have to look at them unless I want to. I can just scroll past them and see them later on. I do not understand why people post 10+ pictures on instagram at once. Your valencia filter doesn't make you look any different than your mayfair filter you used on the last picture you posted. And I have no choice but to look at every single one as I go through my timeline. Yes, I could easily unfollow these types of people. But I don't want to! They're obviously friends and want to see how you're doing. Just with a few pictures at a time.

The obsession with NYC
Every person needs to see and experience the feeling of walking to a party in Manhattan at night. But I really don't see what the big apple has to offer that Los Angeles doesn't. Rush hour, all kinds of public transportation, over crowding, tacky tourist traps, unique food only available in our regions. We both have it. Don't get me wrong, I love New York City and am excited to be back in June. I can honestly say the only real difference is during the summers in LA I don't smell steaming garbage on the streets. And don't even get me started on LA winters. I would take an earthquake over a hurricane any day.

I will admit that New York has better sports teams. Clearly we are nothing without Kobe.

Onions
Why are these even a real thing? They are vile and gross and I do not like them at all!! I have been conditioned to respond this way (thanks mom!) but they are honestly the one thing I will never ever eat. I can pick tomatoes and olives off my food, I can't deal with onions. I apologize in advance for giving you the stank face if I'm in your presence while you consume them. But I will never understand why you do it.

The drinking age in America
Now I'm not here to promote 16 year olds drinking and making stupid choices. But being in Europe and to be able to have a beer with my dad and it not be a huge deal was so refreshing. But America does not like change. So we will continue to measure things in feet and miles and have one of the highest drinking ages in the world. I just personally believe if I'm able to vote for who my president will be, or go to war, then I should be able to take a few shots with my friends on a Saturday night!

There are so many questions I have unanswered. Maybe that's what gets me in trouble, always questioning things. Maybe one day I'll find the answers to settle these crazy thoughts of mine. But until then, I will be full of future blog material for those days when I just don't understand why...

Much love,
Jen

I'd rather run away

Today I feel like running away. 

I want to sit in an uncomfortable airplane seat for 11 hours contemplating if this was the dumbest thing I've ever done. 

I want to get off the plane and have no idea what the hell I'm doing. The most terrifying and exciting feeling. 

The gratification of getting another stamp in my passport. Like collecting a rare item. 

I want to sit in a pub surrounded by strangers. But only for a little. Because those strangers become friends so quickly. Exchanging stories and drinks and that light bulb that goes off in your head where you think "oh so this is what those poetic travelers talk about in their blog". 

The horrific yet satisfying feeling of being jet lagged due to being able to time travel. 

Waking up and for .5 seconds being really confused to why the people on the tv are speaking a foreign language. I miss that. 

I want to feel the adrenaline in my veins when I am extremely concerned that I have gotten lost in a foreign country. And I want to feel the satisfaction of figuring it out on my own. 

I want to take fabulous Instagram pictures and think "lol isn't it lovely that I got here on my own?"

I want to spend way too much on clothing and alcohol. 

I want to enjoy the freedom of being unreachable. And the wonderful gift of free wifi when it comes around. 

But today I sit in my room. Deciding if I should start my homework now or tomorrow. Wondering if I need to put gas in my car. Debating what I should wear on my date on Saturday. 

When in all honesty I'd rather just run away. 

8 things we all need to stop doing immediately

Nobody is perfect. We all have posted something online we regret or have made a comment about someone that wasn't very nice. But when did we suddenly have all these made up rules to follow? I've come up with a list of 8 things our generation needs to stop doing right now.

1. The rules for talking to a guy
These rules are going out the window right now. Just last week a friend of mine told me that I "look thirsty when I message a guy first". Um what? So I'm just supposed to sit around waiting to see if he would like to talk to me? No. I don't like that at all. If I want to talk to you then I'm sure as hell going to do it. And if you don't want to respond then that's totally fine and I won't bother you again with my friendship. But at least I can say I tried. I create my own rules when it comes to talking to people and you should too.

2. Judging drink orders
Stop laughing at what I like to drink. I don't care if you think Smirnoff ice isn't a real drink. It is delicious!! I will sit at the bar and order a cider without your sense of judgement. Congratulations that you like beer that tastes like mud. I think it's gross but I won't say anything about it while you make comments about my "piss water". I don't tell you what to order at Starbucks so don't tell me what to drink at a party.

3. What I should be wearing
I once dated a guy who told me my shorts were too short. He actually told me I needed to change my clothes. Now I would understand his judgement if we were having dinner with his parents or going somewhere fancy (the fanciest we got was olive garden...) but we we're going to somewhere silly like the science center. I like to consider myself a classy person! My shirts are never too low cut and my butt cheeks are never hanging out. My mom raised me right. I wear clothes that I like! I have been blessed with the metabolism of a 12 year old boy and I am proud of my body. I'll wear what I want, okay?

4. Dieting
I don't care about your diet. I don't care that you're at 24 hour fitness. I don't care about your new juicing recipe. Just like I'm sure you don't care that I love to eat hot cheetos and wash it down with a diet coke. Stop feeling the need to prove to everyone that you're dieting and working out nonstop. If you are changing your lifestyle for YOURSELF then that is amazing and I am happy to see your results! But stop doing it for the wrong reasons. And stop rolling your eyes at me when I ask for extra sauce at in-n-out...

5. Selfies
"Oh my god all she does is post selfies" is such a stupid thing my generation complains about. So what if Sally posts pictures of herself? I post selfies on my Instagram because that morning I was just really feeling great about myself. I don't post them for likes or to receive compliments. I do it because I look at my phone and think "wow I look very nice today' and that makes me feel good! So girls out there, you post as many selfies as you like! And if someone doesn't like it then the unfollow button is really easy to find.

6. Makeup
It's shocking to me how many comments about girls wearing make up I find men posting on Facebook. We are either fake because we wear too much, or some of my male "friends" have commented on how ugly girls can look underneath the make up. Because of this girls are posting pictures with captions screaming "look at me I'm brave enough to not wear make up online!!!!". I have pictures on my Instagram without make up on, but you all probably don't know that because it really isn't that big of a deal. I wear make up because I like to. I like how when I spend some time on it I can sort of almost look my age. So if you like wearing a ton of make up then go for it!!! And if you don't even want to consider the idea of putting a sharp object near your eye then I think that's awesome too. Do what you're comfortable with!

7. Online displays of affection (or rejection)
Stop making your relationships and break ups public. I am guilty of this by all means. Being Facebook official and changing our Instagram bios really shouldn't mean as much as they do. The rest of the world doesn't care that Jimmy bought you flowers and took you fishing. And when things get bad we feel the need to let the whole world know how awful the other person is. News flash: 99% of your Facebook friends don't care and are rolling their eyes at you. We understand you're so happy in love or extremely hurt and upset, but we have our own issues to deal with.

8. College and career decisions
There is nothing wrong with going to a community college. There is nothing wrong with living at home. Life doesn't work out the way we want it to. Just because some of us don't get finical aid or have parents who make enough to pay for an ivy league school doesn't mean we are any less intelligent than you. Stop judging your peers choices in education or careers. I could be taking summer school classes or getting an internship in June. But I will be standing on a kayak doing the hokey pokey with a group of 8 year olds and it will be amazing! That doesn't make me any less dedicated than you. It's a different kind of dedication and commitment that will give me a different kind of advantage that a classroom can't give me.

This is just a short list of things we're all terrible at. I'm making a promise to myself right now to the entire internet to not do any of these things/let the judgement of them get to me. We need to take a better look at how these things are hurting the people around us and try to be better human beings when it comes to our friends.

Will you try harder too?

Much love,
Jen

20 things I would tell my 10 year old self

The big 20th birthday is a month away. I can honestly say I have never been so happy to be done with an age. 19 has not been great. How cliche of me. I recently found a post by my favorite author Chelsea Fagan where she wrote a letter to her 10 year old self. Obviously something that has been done before. But what better way to start my 20's than by sharing some knowledge with little Jen?

1. Your boobs won't grow. Sorry. You will be thankful for this when you realize you've stopped growing at 5 feet tall. Boys will look you in the eyes, not at your chest. You want someone who likes you for you, not what your body looks like. The boys who compared you to a piece of plywood will get there's in the end, I promise.

2. You'll get the phone you want, the laptop you want, and myspace won't be cool in high school. All of these things will eventually control your life. So please just enjoy playing on the slip in slide in the front yard for as long as you can. Eventually people will tell you that you're too old to do that and your eyes will hurt from staring at your computer screen all day long. So stop asking for a cell phone and just go outside and play, okay?

3. You're going to go to summer camp when you're 13. And it will change your life forever. Then you'll be a camp counselor and that will change your life again. For the better, I promise!

4. Say no to British boys. Always. No matter what!!! Trust me on this. The accent will pull you in and you'll think that England isn't THAT far. Pay attention in social studies because it is!

5. You will go to Hawaii, Paris, and New York City before you turn 20. Cool, huh? You will learn amazing things every time you go somewhere new. Never ever pass up the opportunity to travel. 

6. You will have a teacher in high school who will threaten you by saying she will have "academic dishonesty" written on your permanent record and you "will never ever go to college". She's full of shit (yes you will cuss when your older, it's a bad habit we're working on). But please try your hardest in school. It may seem cool at the time to goof off in class and get bad grades but you're really only making it harder on yourself. You have the potential to go anywhere in the world! Don't let those teachers be right!

7. Those friends who you were goofing off with? 8 out of 10 of them will end up pregnant, unemployed, and/or bored to tears in this stupid town. Don't let them hold you down.

8. Lets talk a little bit more about boys. Every boyfriend will feel like "the one". Down the road you will be oh so thankful you were wrong. The break ups will feel like the end of the world and you will wonder how you will ever move on. You will! College will let you meet so many cool people, and a lot of cute boys. You won't have a high school sweetheart but that's totally okay!! When you're at a bar in Amsterdam getting kissed on the cheek by your new friends you will be glad there's no ring on your finger.

9. Choosing a boy over your friends is really stupid. You will try to convince yourself that it's okay because "friends are temporary and he could really be the one". He won't be and you're really going to hurt your friends feelings. Why would you want to be with someone who would not only do that to you, but your best friend? Walk away asap!

10. You will regret not going to prom, no matter how hard you pretend it doesn't bother you.

11. Be nice to your stepdad. He really is a nice guy. He would do anything for you if you asked him to.

12. You're going to try and hide things about yourself to fit in. You won't want to admit your Jewish. Your friends will say how much they hate reading and you'll try to shove your eReader to the bottom of your bag. You will try not to talk about where you got your clothes or what your doing over the school breaks. Eventually you will realize that you are surrounded by people who will love you despite your flaws and will continue to be your best friend way after high school (thank you Miss Daniel for loving me unconditionally). 

13. Every year you will tell yourself "by this time next year I'm going to figure out what I'm going to do after high school". You won't figure it out. That's okay though. It will be stressful and there will be many bumps in the road. But it's better to figure it out while you can than being 35 and working a job you hate.

14. Mom and dad are only human. You'll fight with them and think they're crazy and think they have no idea what they're doing. It's almost your 20th birthday and you still think that sometimes. They aren't perfect and are doing the best they can to handle a piece of work like you. Give them a hug and tell them you love them.

15. Bullies don't go away after high school. They will live in your dorm room and they will leave you stranded on the side of the road in New York. This is just a fact of life that unfortunately we can't do anything about. Remember that karma will always work it's way in the end. Just keep being the best person you can possibly be, it will reward you in the long run.

16. Stop saying you're going to leave California. You will make friends all over the world and you will see a lot of places. Always keep an open mind and experience these things. Because you will only appreciate coming into smoggy LAX and going in in-n-out while wearing flip flops in January that much more. Many people would love to live in this wonderful place you call home.

17. Your braces will come off. You will figure out how to use a straightener. You will have a make up collection that requires storage containers. Stop looking in the mirror and wishing you could look like your friends. You aren't them! You're Jen. You will have a smile that makes 6 years of braces worth while. It all comes with time. So enjoy your flawless skin and being able to get ready pretty fast in the morning. You'll miss that when it's 6 am and you've burnt yourself with your curling iron and you've poked yourself in the eye doing your make up. And obviously you don't grow out of your clumsiness. Sorry!

18. When you finally get to college and experience freedom, you will go crazy. You won't really go to parties in high school so college is going to be insane. GOING TO YOUR FRIDAY CLASS WHILE YOU RE STILL DRUNK IS NOT OKAY. You will think you're having the time of your life. And it is fun until mom and dad find out you've failed a few classes. Then you have to move home!!!!! Something you said you would never do. So go have fun, but try to prioritize please.

19. Be thankful your days of cheering on the football field aren't "the best years of your life". The people who say that have a really hard time with the 3/4 of their life left. You can be a writer in New York City. You can teach English to kids in a foreign country. You can do whatever you want if you believe me when I say there will be great things to come your way after high school. Don't get caught up in thinking being 16 is the best thing ever!

20. You will be almost 20 years old and still act like a big kid. You will stop in the middle of a conversation and say "puppy!!!" and proceed to point to the dog across the street. You will still listen to boy bands and prefer to wear something if it's pink. You will still struggle to do laundry and you won't even try to work the dish washer. Every outfit will always be better if you have a bow in your hair. What I'm trying to say is that even though at 10 years old all you want to do is grow up, you will do everything in your power to avoid it eventually.

Happy almost birthday to me.

Much love,
Jen

Being a little person

Since I'm on spring break and my brain is still trying to adjust back to being surrounded by English speaking people, I decided to write another light hearted post. Hopefully I'll be back to stirring up chaos once I get back into school mode.

Today I wanted to talk about being short. If you haven't clicked away yet, I promise you'll enjoy this. Some of you reading this don't know me. So I'll enlighten you, I am only 5 feet tall. And no, in the state of California I am not legally a midget. My mom is only an inch or two taller than me, and my dads mom was even shorter than me. So no one was surprised when little tiny Jen popped into the world and stopped growing at 14.

So I think I should write something to let you all know why being a little person is the best thing in the entire world.

- My clothes are much cheaper than yours
When I was 12 and everyone was wearing skinny jeans, I was still shopping in the kids section because stores that sold cool jeans didn't fit me yet. And it was so unbelievably embarrassing! But now? You'd be surprise how much of my clothes are a large in girls. My ugg boots and converse are about half the price of yours because I get them in kids sizes. All my athletic clothes are no more than $5 a piece because they're from the kids section. All my Halloween costumes are from the kids side of the store, and trust me I rocked them! And although I know that one day it won't really be appropriate to wear the same clothes as 6th graders, I'm enjoying it for as long as I possibly can.

-Guys like short girls
I'm not being arrogant here. I didn't say guys like ME. But have you ever heard a guy say "I don't like short girls, I only like tall girls"?? I certainly haven't! When you date a short girl you never have to worry about her being taller than you when she wears heels! You will get to be superman and reach for the things on the top shelf because she can't reach. And you never ever have to worry about picking her up when she falls asleep on the couch, us tiny ones always fit perfectly in your arms! It's a win win with us!

-I'm a walking conversation starter
I can't count how many times I've been approached with "oh my god you're so tiny" or variations of the phrase. And conversation usually goes on from there. I get asked if my family is short, if I'm a midget, when I stopped growing blah blah blah. Even my campers like to talk to me about how short I am. and they're 8!!!! It's always nice having an emergency topic of conversation stashed away in my back pocket. Still waiting to find a cute tall guy to start talking to by having him reach something on the top shelf in the grocery store for me....

-I'm forever young
I will be 20 next month and I still get carded when I see rated R movies. Yes. They don't believe that I am 17. This bothered me more back in high school when I was the new kid and everyone thought I was a freshman instead of actually being a senior. But now I'm starting to find it humorous since most of my friends are turning 21 and on the long awaited day they don't even get asked to show their id. We all know I'm going to get carded for 20+ years. Thanks to sunscreen everyday and genetics, I'm hoping I'll look 40 when you guys are 60.

-It makes me a funny person
I love short people jokes! If you've read my other posts, you know I have no problem calling myself a midget. I joke with my friends about having the body of a 12 year old due to my lack of boobs on my tiny little frame. Most of my friends know that my most popular nickname is Dobby because apparently being little with big ears makes you look like a Harry Potter house elf! And I love socks people so give me one and set me free! Being short and getting picked on a lot made me pretty insecure growing up. I so desperately wanted to look more mature like my friends. But now I own it! And if I don't like it about myself, I turn it into something we can all laugh about together.

-My bar tab is really cheap
When you weigh less than 100 lbs, it doesn't take much to get the party going. Which means I don't have to spend much on alcohol. Besides, I'm a short girl, I don't buy my own drinks ;)

-It helped me figure out what I'm good at
In high school I spent a lot of time focusing on what I can't do. I can never be a super model, I can never be great at volleyball, I can't I can't I can't. I almost didn't compete in one of my pageants because I thought being short and young looking would make me look immature to the judges. But being little made me great at things tall people can't do. I joined my high school cheerleading team and was able to be thrown so high up in the air I could see on top of the gym. I could ditch into my friends science class and hide under the lab table when the teacher was taking roll (not a good thing but whatever). I was put in the age group I wanted at camp because they were the only kids I would be taller than (joking, kind of). But it did make me more relatable to my little ones who I became so close to. If I was 5'9 I would of never been able to experience those things.

I could go on and on about this. I wish I could go back to tiny little Jen in first grade who was sad because she was once again the last in line for the school picture because she was the shortest in the class. I would tell her that it's okay to be little! And the mean boys who picked on you for being a "baby" will grow up to wish the could have a tiny girl like you. It wasn't always easy being 5 feet tall. But I'm so glad I've grown (not literally) to be a girl who is confident with the way I am. If I had the choice to be tall, I wouldn't take it. Because being a small girl in a big world is the best way to be.

Much love,
Jen

Karma and jet lag

Exhausted doesn't even to begin to explain how I feel. I don't even remember falling asleep. But I woke up and my room was dark (I usually sleep with my tv on) and someone had put my dog in my room because she was curled up next to me and it's almost 3 am. But my brain believes it's almost 12 pm so this seems right.

Since the idea of choosing something to watch on Netflix seems like an exhausting task, I'll ramble on in another blog. 

Has someone ever done something nice for you, and you can't help just play it over and over in your head? This morning (or was it now yesterday? Time traveling is confusing) at the airport it was absolute madness. We almost missed our flight because Air France is honestly the most disorganized airline ever. I was waiting in line to check in our bags with my family and the line was extremely long. There was a French family behind us for majority of the wait. But as the line got closer, people were trying to cut and push their way through. I got separated from my dad and some guy with a huge luggage cart rammed me out of the way to cut in front of me. 

One of the French guys behind me grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back and told him "no!" And gestured for me to move forward to catch up with my dad. I was in shock. So I'm trying to squeeze forward carrying my brothers hitch hiker backpack that's as big as my midget proportions and my own suitcase which weighs as much as I do. The French guy then grabs my suitcase, lifts it up over the asshole who rammed me, and helps me move it forward. I said merci beaucoup over and over and he just smiled and said your welcome in English. And who said the French were rude?

I couldn't help but play it over and over in my head. And I don't know why! But it got me thinking about karma. That guy didn't have to help me. If I saw a little person like me with 2 bags as big as her holding an American passport, I would probably laugh. But he didn't. He went out of his way so I could catch up with my dad. So to the French man who helped me in the crowded airport in Paris, I hope you get 28299643 bonus karma points. 

I love to believe that good things happen to good people. I recently read a book that made me see that life needs balance. If you take a little, you give a little. You give a lot, you take a lot. 

It seems like there are those people out there who get whatever they want, no matter how badly they treat people. I'm not a perfect person. I helped super glue a girl to her seat in the 7th grade! But I am more accountable for my actions now that I'm almost 20 and I try my hardest to be the best person I can be. 

When I had to cancel my trip to England, I spent a lot of time wondering what the hell I could of possibly done to deserve that. But now I think that it was just my life balancing itself out. Because if I went to England, I wouldn't of gone on my incredible trip this week. 

So if you're struggling, and things seem like they can't get much better, keep going and keep being the best person you can be. Next thing you know, you'll be shooing away gypsies at the Eiffel Tower. Or you could be the person that helps out a struggling girl in an airport that she can't stop thinking about. It's the little things that can make a huge difference, and in return you will find great things coming your way. 

Karma counts

Much love,

Jen