I am the queen of bad dates. As I have wrote in previous blogs, I haven't been surrounded by the nicest guys. I always blamed it on the types of guys in my home town, immaturity, or my bad taste. For the first time ever, I've had a really great date. Where I didn't feel uncomfortable or insecure. I smiled until my face hurt and I genuinely felt like he who shall remain nameless really enjoyed being around me. So since my blog is just full of embarrassing stories, here's another cringeworthy walk down the memory lane of terrible dates.
My first boyfriend wasn't a very nice guy. But being 15 I couldn't really make logical decisions when it came to boys. It was my 16th birthday and he said he would take me out to dinner. A few days earlier I had gotten $100 from my dad as a birthday present which was a huge deal for me at 16. Boyfriend #1 knew I had gotten the money as a gift. We went to dinner and as soon as he ordered everything on the menu, he decided to tell me he left his wallet at home. Now I don't believe in the idea that the guy has to pay for everything. But it was my birthday dinner. If he was just honest with me and told me when he picked me up it wouldn't of been that big of a deal. I had to spend almost all my birthday money on that meal.
A few months later with Boyfriend #1, he attempted to redeem himself. My mom who obviously knew more than me at the time, didn't really trust this guy. She was always really strict with me but she was getting a bit ridiculous. She wanted to know where we were going, what Boyfriend #1's truck looked like, what time we would be there etc. Flash forward to us sitting in a booth by a window. I look up and I see my mom driving by really slowly and waving at us. She drove to the restaurant to make sure we were actually where we said we would be. Talk about an embarrassing date.
My senior year was spent talking to an old friend who was in the marines so we will call him Marine Man. He was deployed to Afghanistan and I really enjoyed sending him letters and care packages and when I finally got a phone call after weeks without hearing from him it seriously felt like Christmas. Marine Man had a lot of issues though. And he drank a lot once he got back to America. He was supposed to come home after his deployment and we had all these plans that seemed to be falling a part. I finally just stood up for myself and he "agreed" to take me to my favorite sushi place. I was so unbelievably nervous. My anxiety was through the roof and Marine Man could probably tell. About 10 minutes after sitting down I really didn't feel good and I must have looked it too. I ran off to the bathroom and tried to calm down and not puke. I felt better and came back to Marine Man asking me if I was pregnant. I definitely wasn't since I just spent 9 months talking to a guy on the other side of the world. He payed for dinner, dropped me off, never spoke to me again, and married my best friend from kindergarten. Good riddance!
One weekend I came home from college and decided to hangout with a guy I became friends with at a bar before I moved to Santa Barbara. This guy was already kind of a jerk and we will refer to him as Air Force Guy (don't judge this pattern, this is what happens when you live near a military base). He would call me when I was at school and ask when I'd be home so I finally gave him a chance when I was on break. Air Force Guy brought his Air Force friend who brought this slutty looking girl to dinner. And by dinner I mean Buffalo Wild Wings while the guys drank and screamed at whatever game was on. I'm about 4 years younger than everyone and it was just so uncomfortable. I then had to follow Air Force Guy to the movies where I paid for my ticket to see some GI Joe movie I really didn't want to see. I kept my mouth shut even though the guys didn't while rating every girl who showed up on the screen. Longest night of my life.
Dating in college is really weird. Especially if the guy lives right down the hall from you and sees you in the dinning hall, hung over with last nights make up still on, struggling to order an omelet. This guy was really nice. Like bring me frozen yogurt on a bad day kind of nice. And since girls always get crap for putting guys in the friend zone, I really wanted to give him a chance. He drove us to this really nice Mexican place in town and kept talking about how dinner was going to be on him. I appreciated it! But I really wanted to talk about other things. Dinner was just thoroughly awkward and in his car on the way back to the dorms he asked me to be his girlfriend. In fear that he might crash the car if I said no, I told him yes. It obviously didn't last long but the situation was a nightmare.
This isn't technically a first date, but a horror story in avoiding a first date. We'll call him DJ because I met him when he was a DJ at a party my roommate and I were at. He was pretty nice and invited me back to his place where there was a lot more free alcohol for this crazy party girl. I gave him my number and went home alone. We texted a bit and DJ asked me to go out with him for Valentines day. I said sure but as the day got closer I realized I really wasn't comfortable with it. DJ did not take it very well. The next weekend he saw me at a party and followed me out with a group of his friends. Begged me to go back to his place to talk to him. He locked his door, keeping my friends out and offering them money to leave us alone. He had a vase of dead flowers he had saved that were apparently supposed to be mine. And he went on and on about how he rented out an entire restaurant on State St for us and I bailed. What a psycho. I got out of there and never saw the guy again.
To say I've been on some rough dates is obviously a joke. Even though I'm only twenty, there have been plenty of times where I felt like the only girl who goes through this crap and I'm going to have to settle for some loser who saves dead flowers. But the truth of the matter is that you never know when somebody who is genuinely nice will walk into your life. I guess through all of this I've realized that when it comes to dating, it's important to give people a chance but to always trust your gut. You may be surprised in who can restore your faith in humanity.
Much love,
Jen
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