What not to say to a Californian

I'm one of the lucky ones. Born and raised in the suburbs of Los Angeles. We're a unique breed of Americans. West is the best isn't it? Home of the film industry, beautiful people, and sunshine. No wonder everyone is curious about what this place is like. But sometimes the stereotypes are like, totally taken out of context. Planning on visiting some time? Tired of being a local subjected to the stereotype? Take a look at what you should never say to someone from California.

"If you're from California, why are you so pale?"
Yes, we have perfect weather 80% of the year. But unless you're a Kardashian, you don't spend every day all day laying by the pool or beach soaking up the sun. We work, go to school, and its usually indoors. Even though you don't think it's cold, we do wear pants and ugg boots in the winter. So excuse us for not fulfilling your image of being a tan goddess year round. We're working on it as soon as winter is over in February. Besides, some of us really care about avoiding skin cancer.

"Where are the famous people?"
Hiding. Far away from you.

"Californians are the worst drivers"
HAHAHA! No. You grow up trying to get into the city in bumper to bumper traffic. We are actually amazing drivers due to all the traffic we deal with. If you have an out of state license plate, we automatically assume you have no idea what you're doing. Hit the gas or get out of here!

"In n out is gross"
Buy yourself a plane ticket. I'm taking you to the airport and you can go back to wherever you came from. In n out is a gift from the gods delivered to us lucky west coasters and select parts of Texas. It's so simple and so unbelievably delicious. And if you're with the right person, us locals will even inform you of the hidden treasure of the secret menu. Chopped chillies, pickles, animal style, the options are endless. If you insult one of the best parts of California then you'll never belong here.

"Can we go to the walk of fame? Or that Chinese theater?"
Ugh. This is so hard for me to handle. As a traveler, I know how you feel the need to see the tourist attractions. I've been to times square and the Eiffel tower. And I would avoid them at all costs now. There is soooooooooooo much to do here!! Stars in the ground aren't that cool, I promise. Let me take you hiking through Runyon Canyon,  I'll show you where Venice Beach is, or see the amazing architecture of the Getty Museum. Please, anything but Hollywood Blvd.

"Do you know anyone famous?"
This depends on the person. Some people will name drop. Others will be thoroughly annoyed that you would ask that. With so much access to concerts and show tapings, any Californian can tell you some sort of run in story. Like my brother who works for Paramount almost ran Sandra Bullock over with a golf cart (sorry I name dropped). If someone is telling you that they're best friends with someone famous, 99% of the time they're lying. You've been warned.

"Why do you put avocado on everything?!"
Because California avocados are amazing!! Many people don't realize how much produce is grown throughout California. And it's suffering due to this awful drought we're in. Knowing that your fruits and vegetables were grown locally is a really great thing. If your avocado isn't from California, you're doing it wrong.

"You're from California? Do you live in Hollywood?"
Uh no. And I'm going to assume people in Northern California hate being asked that. California is such a huge state! There's more to us than LA and San Francisco. We're full of hidden gems if you're willing to look hard enough.

"Daisy dukes? Bikinis on top?"
This isn't a Katy Perry song. Bye.

"What's with all the Mexican food?"
One of my favorite parts of living in California is how much Mexican culture we have. I think it's something beautiful. I remember being in NYC and eating at a "Mexican" restaurant. No, never again! It tasted nothing like the real stuff. You want to experience California like a local? Find a small colorful place with words in Spanish on the outside. This does not include Taco Bell!!! If you go in and you're kind of scared you're going to get the runs, you're in the right place. Most of the time these places are run by families who cook this ridiculously amazing food as a way of life. It will change you forever. Stop asking questions and just eat. Por favor y gracias.

"Do you know how to surf?"
I live in the desert. I learned how to surf in Hawaii. I have just one friend who journeys out to the freezing water of the Pacific Ocean. So to answer your question, no, majority of us do not since not every one of us have beach front property....yet.

"Like dude we should like totally like hit up Santa Monica today. Those waves are hella crazy bro"
No Californian would ever say that. Except the Nor Cals and "hella" which makes us from So Cal crazy! If you said that to me, I would assume you're making fun of me. I will then show you the way to Compton in the middle of the night. We're not all beach bums and we don't say "dude" and "like" after every other word.

"Why is everyone a vegan?"
California is known for fresh, great food. And when you live somewhere with great weather, you want to look great since you'll be wearing shorts 2/3 of the year. So yes, many of us are pretty health conscious and are always coming up with new diet trends. But not all of us (remember in n out?). Just try the kale and quinoa before you talk smack.

"How do I find the metro station?"
We have a metro?

"California is amazing! I'm never leaving!"
And you wonder why we're one of the most populated states in America. I don't blame people who say that. I can never imagine living anywhere else long term. We're a unique place. You can go snowboarding and surfing in the same day if you'd like. It's completely acceptable to wear flip flops with a sweatshirt. We have so much culture and things to do. California is an incredible place.

Remember these things when you're talking to someone from California. We are proud of where we come from and will be glad to show you the ways of our land if you ask nicely!

Much love,
Jen